Hmmm, in a recent discussion I was involved in I expressed my thought that it’s time gay men and lesbians in Jamaica come together ideologically and work towards understanding each other. I agree that both sectors of the LGBT community have their share of issues and idiosyncrasies but why for example our lesbian sisters just want to be by themselves?
Even at our bi weekly Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Community (GLABCOM) meetings in Kingston and reportedly at the other three chapters it is evident that the ladies are not interested or so it seems, as the meetings are predominantly attended by men.
Gay men here have been accused of being too overbearing and intolerant of lesbian views and issues and that we (men) don’t listen, many lesbians have expressed displeasure at these meetings where the males tend to out speak the them while they are trying to make a point, even at the local level socially, at regular parties the difference is clear, save and except for some gatherings.
My lesbian counterpart in the discussion said many lesbians are expressing their displeasure at the behaviour of some of our brothas and rightly so, but to then criticise the effeminacy or “realness” is just too much for me as some gay men are just that, REAL and cannot express themselves no other way.
However on the matter of my brothas being overbearing, in all fairness that’s true to a certain extent and I have heard gay men also expressing their dislike for associating with lesbians.
What is this? Lesbophobia, we nuh like dem, dem nuh like we? eh eh,
(english: we don’t like them, they don’t like us? wow).
Is it a lack of understanding of each other’s lifestyles or are we so busy being “Gay” in our own gender box that everything else seems irrelevant?
Another strange observation I have found is that many gay men like myself seem to have more “straight” female friends than lesbian ones and the reverse is true of lesbians in the Jamaican context.
For example a so called thug/shotta (male) will hang with a “butch” female and take her as one of the boys as opposed to socializing with an effeminate male, we see it publicly, lesbian females dressed in men’s baggy jeans and smoking weed and being all “thuggy” on the corner and very few oppose it.
Strange bed-fellows in our so called homophobic environment. Personally I have many lesbian friends and in fact many of my gay brothas wonder how come I get along so easily with lesbians.
How can we begin to build the bridge between us and how can we sustain it?.
What do you think?