DENISE DENNIS All Woman writer
Premature ejaculation is the inability to exercise control over the ejaculatory process. There is no determined cause — it may be psychological, or caused by other problems like infections, hormone or thyroid problems, or others. Treating the problem may require anything from drugs to psychological help, and as his partner, it’s important for a woman to also do all she can to help. Here are a few tips:
1. Take the initiative to resolve the issue without hurting your partner’s feelings. He might not want to say to you that he has a problem but you both know that he does, so you will have to start figuring out how you will help him.
2. Talk about it. But be careful how you do this. You do not want make him angry or hurt so as to worsen his situation. Be as calm and loving as possible when you bring it up. Let him know he need not be embarrassed because it is just between you and him and you are only trying to improve the sexual experience for both of you.
3. You have to be willing to work with your partner to restore and enhance his sexual potency. You cannot tell him ‘do this and do that’ and not be there to do it with him. Anything he needs to try, you have to try it with him.
4. You must help him choose the right medication. Premature ejaculation may be successfully treated with certain antidepressant drugs, which may have the side effect of increasing the time taken to ejaculate. There are medical ways to help this problem, let him know you will support him in getting help.
5. Reassure your partner that you love all of his touching and kissing. He is facing something that is very likely ruining his confidence and decapitating his ego. Many rapid ejaculators see themselves as being sexual failures in the eyes of their partners and will worry about it. To overcome his problem, he will need a confidence boost.
6. Help him relax. If your man is tense, it might result in him being the ‘one-minute man’ you have come to know. Taking a bath with him before intercourse could help to make him more relaxed.
7. Gently discourage a rush to intercourse and encourage him to explore your body in many ways. If needed and desired, encourage him to stimulate you to orgasm in other ways. If you have already climaxed before intercourse begins, some of the pressure is taken off your partner.
8. Change positions. Encourage him to try sexual positions with you that will make him more comfortable. The man-on-top position usually means he has to balance his weight on his arms and as such he might lose control or awareness of his arousal and his ejaculation. Woman-on-top is usually more effective in giving him more control to last longer.
9. Finally, he is your man, and for your pleasure and his ego, you want to make it right. So just remember this will not go away in a day or night but will mean some give and take and a lot of patience on your part.