Here is another letter to the Tell Me Pastor in the Star thats urges a mother not to condemn her son simply because according to her she found condoms new and used in his bag at just 15 years old. I am sure that if the story had a gay twist to it he would have advised her to seek counseling to get it out of him judging from his previous responses to such matters one can recall the case where he recommended restorative psychology treatment for a lesbian who had allegedly written to him asking for advice.
This kind of double standards or religious hypocrisy is just so familiar some sins especially if they are heterosexual based are allowed or easily forgiven while anything remotely gay is condemned.
He did spoke to safer sex practices and probably recognised early sexual initiation and the need for parents’ input.
Have a read of the letter
This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time I wrote you, you gave me good advice.
I have a son who is 15 years old and attending high school. He is very good at sports, so all the girls flock him. He does well in his lessons and is obedient. But I got the shock of my life when I found in his school bag a pack of condoms and one was used.
I confronted him about it and he said it belonged to a friend who gave him the condoms to keep. Pastor, I don’t believe him. This boy goes to church every Sunday. I didn’t expect him to start having sex so early. His younger brother is 13 and he told me he knows his girlfriend. I don’t want these careless girls to spoil up my son. My friends told me I should have left the condoms in his bag. But pastor, he is too young to be having sex.
S., St Andrew
Why were you so shocked when you saw the condoms in your son’s bag? And did you believe that he would have admitted that they were his? Even if he wanted to admit they were his, your reaction caused him to lie.
Of course the condoms are his. Yes, mother, your son is sexually active and he is wise enough to protect himself from STD and HIV/AIDS and from impregnating women. And, mother, taking the condoms away, doesn’t mean that he would stop having sex. No, mother, he would purchase another pack and put them where you would not find them, or he may give them to his girlfriend to keep.
You describe the girls as careless. How unfortunate. Not all girls who are sexually active are careless. Many teenagers have sex, not because they are bad but because they hear from their peers that it is sweet. Many come under peer pressure, so they yield.
Counsel your son. Ask your minister to counsel him too, but don’t condemn him or his friends.