“Tell Me Pastor” mixed messages on lesbianism ….. suspicious letter?

So the season for the same gender loving embellished stories has recommenced in the Star from pastor/psychologist Reverend Aaron Dumas which for those of you who read this and my other blogs will know there are trends for these kind of publications, in other words an on and an off season, well here is the on season as only yesterday we saw the “downlow conplaint” letter to which he had a mummed response in a sense, see more on that one HERE, today’s entry is suspicious and I am on record as saying I think some of these letters are fakes or so edited that the original gist of them is lost in order to create a buzz on the story.

Have a read and then below it I’ll share my two cents:

Lesbian fantasy

Letter

Dear Pastor,

I love your column so much. It is just real. I am in love with this guy. I started getting close to him at a house party. When I left and got home, he was all on my mind. The next week, he emailed me asking for my number. I gave it to him. I have known him since I was nine years old, but I wasn’t as close to him in that way. He rang my phone the same time and we spoke for hours about everything.

About two days later, I went to his house, intending to do his hair, and I ended up having sexual intercourse with him. I didn’t do oral sex. I feel very careless and dirty because my virginity went just like that.

Second, I fantasise about girls. What should I do? I had sex with a girl. I went to a massage parlour and everything was going well until she started touching me at certain places. She told me it was normal so I should relax. She performed oral sex on me. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t find it in me to stop it.

Please give me your views.

T., Clarendon

Pastor’s response

Dear T.,

You mean well, but you are naïve. You met a young man and you thought that you fell in love with him. In fact, he gave you the impression that he loves you too. He invited you to his house under the pretence that he wanted you to comb his hair and that gave him the opportunity to have sex with you. That’s how you lost your virginity. That shows naivety on your path. You were too trusting. You did not understand that men are cunning.

When you went to the massage parlour, you didn’t mean to become sexually involved with another girl, but perhaps you didn’t understand that many of these so-called massage parlours allow their masseuses to engage their clients in sexual acts. So when this woman started to touch you inappropriately, she knew exactly what she was doing. It was her way of introducing you to lesbianism.

It is not, therefore, surprising that you now find yourself fantasising about having sex with women. You know that it is wrong to have sex with women. Therefore, I suggest that you make an appointment to see a psychologist for professional help.

Pastor 

ENDS

The timeline for when her “virginity” was taken is unclear and how soon after did she supposedly visit the massage parlour? Pastor in his response said the masseuse was introducing lesbianism yet in the letter she clearly outlined she was attracted to women, what’s going on here? The told me it was normal bit sounds like an adage to the text to set up the answer to say lesbianism or by extension homosexuality is wrong as is expected coupled with his suggesting she seek counselling and or reparative therapy. We have seen letters like this before and the answers are always the same, replete with castigations, references to abominations and seeking reparative therapy as a solution. Another aspect to this letter/answer is the biphobia and bi-invisibility as the letter writer did express opposite sex attractions and activities, what if she were attracted to both sexes but due to her address, Clarendon (out of town, deep rural area)  she may not be exposed to information and other persons like herself for better understanding (JFLAG will do well in having island outreach for real not just in name).

For a Psychologist Rev Dumas is certainly not following the DSM IV and soon to be released DSM V guidelines in handling sex and sexual orientation issues on the face of it, one wonders where he got his training or qualifications?

Let us continue to track these pieces as proof of the sublte forms of homophobia and then to use an elitist position in the answer to the writer by “louding up” her naivety as it were is clear indication of how the man works.

Peace and tolerance

H

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Author: GLBTQ Jamaica Moderator

Activist and concerned gay man in Jamaica with over 19 years experience in advocacy and HIV/AIDS prevention work, LGBT DJ since 1996.

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