More readings for Bisexuality Month …………..

Here are some more resources for your perusal from the above captioned site on bisexuality, help to recognise our Bi individuals locally.

also see EXCLUSIVELY ON THIS BLOG:

“LGBT” advocates – nonengagement of bisexual issues = Biophobia by default

The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (or KSOG) is a system for describing a person’s sexual proclivities in a way more detailed and informative than previous methods. It was introduced by Dr. Fritz Klein (1932-2006) in his book The Bisexual Option.

The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid is shown in the table below. For each person, it sets out the seven component variables of sexual orientation, listed as A through G down the left side. The three columns indicate three different points at which sexual orientation is assessed: the person’s past, their present, and their ideal. The person then receives a rating from 1 to 7 for each of the 21 resulting combinations, one rating for each empty box in the chart below. The meanings of the ratings are indicated just below the grid itself.

For variables A to E:

1 = Other sex only
2 = Other sex mostly
3 = Other sex somewhat more
4 = Both sexes
5 = Same sex somewhat more
6 = Same sex mostly
7 = Same sex only

For variables F and G:

1 = Heterosexual only
2 = Heterosexual mostly
3 = Heterosexual somewhat more
4 = Hetero/Gay-Lesbian equally
5 = Gay/Lesbian somewhat more
6 = Gay/Lesbian mostly
7 = Gay/Lesbian only

Definitions helpful in using the Klein scale*:

Past: Your life up to 12 months ago.
Present: The most recent 12 months
Ideal: What do you think you would eventually like?

The Variables:

Sexual Attraction: To whom are you sexually attracted?

Sexual Behavior: With whom have you actually had sex?

Sexual Fantasies: Whom are your sexual fantasies about? (They may occur during masturbation, daydreaming, as part of real life, or purely in your imagination.)

Emotional Preference: Emotions influence, if not define, the actual physical act of love. Do you love and like only members of the same sex, only members of the other sex, or members of both sexes?

Social Preference: Social preference is closely allied with but often different from emotional preference. With members of which sex do you socialize?

Lifestyle Preference: What is the sexual identity of the people with whom you socialize?

Sexual Identity: How do you think of yourself?

Political Identity: Some people describe their relationship to the rest of society differently than their personal sexual identity. For instance, a woman may have a heterosexualsexual identity, but a lesbian political identity. How do you think of yourself politically?

Note that the Klein Grid takes into consideration the fact that many people change their orientation over time. Where a person is today is not necessarily where she or he was in the past — or, for that matter, where he or she will be or would like to be in the future. The concept of sexual orientation as an ongoing dynamic process is necessary if we are to understand a person’s orientation properly in its entirety. A more detailed explanation is found in Chapter 2 of Dr. Klein’s book The Bisexual Option.

Please note that although it is entirely possible for an individual to utilize the Klein Grid for the purposes of better determining self identification through a process of self assessment, if you are in the process of coming out as bisexual, the best option is to seek the guidance of a professional therapist who understands bisexuality.

http://kleingridonline.com/

 

The Bisexual Option was originally published in 1978 by Haworth Press, with a Second Edition published in 1993 by Routledge, and is today published by Taylor And Francis, who also publish the Journal Of Bisexuality. Written by Fritz Klein, The Bisexual Option not only offers an in depth exploration and a detailed overview of bisexuality and an explanation of the bisexual, but it also shatters many commonly held myths about this mostly “unseen” but in reality very prevalent segment of society.

Now in its second edition, this intriguing book gives an overview of bisexuality. The publisher, Taylor And Francis, says that “there is still no book that covers the subject like this one, it is must reading for establishing a contemporary view of bisexuality and those committed to a bisexual lifestyle.”

The book is divided into three “parts”. Part One, entitled, “What Is Bisexuality?” begins with the first chapter entitled “The Threat” by discussing the reality that many homosexuals and heterosexuals view the bisexual as a “threat” and goes on to dicuss the myth of the “non existence” of bisexuals still held by many in society and the sense of “either/or”.

Chapter Two moves on towards a definition of bisexuality, as the various dimensions, facets, and aspects of the bisexual’s definition are given andThe Klein Sexual Orientation Grid is explained in detial. An analysis of cultural and biological factors of sexual orientation is also presented.

Chapter Three offers a discussion and study of bisexual intimacy, beginning with the differences in between sexual and emotional intimacy, and the connection between intimacy and hetero- and homophobia, including a profile of a heterosexual male who is able to be emotionally intimate with men. Chapter Four offers a new look at and an explanation of the of the Oedipus complex and the view that both homosexuals and bisexuals are able to resolve it successfully, accompanied by an example showing how one bisexual male has resolved it.

Part Two, “Bisexuality and Health“, is comprised of the next three chapters, which detail the differences between “The Healthy Bisexual” and “The Troubled Bisexual”. This begins with a definition of neurosis and the various types of troubled bisexuals, as well as the healthy functioning of the bisexual and then offers profiles of four troubled male and female bisexuals and three healthy male and female bisexuals.

The last three chapters form Part Three, “The Bisexual In Society“. Chapter Eight, “Sociological Findings” offers further discussion of the mistrust and misunderstanding of the bisexual by the heterosexual and homosexual communities and Chapter Nine, “The Bisexual In History And The Arts” will lay to rest any thoughts off bisexuality being something “new” as it gives a list of famous bisexuals both past and present including profiles of Alexander the Great, Oscar Wilde, Somerset Maugham, and Colette as well as a review of Greek civilization and the Bloomsbury Group. A list of examples as well as a discussion of three works in which the bisexual “ideal” and “truth” are portrayed is also given.

The tenth and final chapter regarding “The Bisexual Future” is a discussion of nine factors influencing bisexuality: AIDS, sex roles and stereotypes, androgyny, friendship and lovers, family, “gay lib,” the women’s movement and feminism, myths, and dilemmas. The book also offers 2 Appendices, “The Bisexual As Portayed In The Arts”, the results of a Bisexual Survey, and a full Bibliography.

Living a lie – MSM use women to cover up their sexuality

by Eve for Life info@eveforlife.org

He is a 42-year-old bisexual man. He lives at home with his wife, the mother of his two children. She does not know he is also having sex with men.

During his 14-year-old relationship with his wife, he has had two different ‘steady’ relationships with males that lasted three and five years respectively. In the latter case, he went to his partner’s house. In the other they would have to find other places … car, brothel, and gay friends’ houses.

He has never used condoms with his wife — that is the way they have negotiated their relationship over the years.

“I would feel a bit cute to introduce condoms at this stage in our relationship,” he said.

In the early days with men he said he periodically used condoms, but with the advent of HIV, he has started to use condoms with his male partners.

“It is not always easy. Sometimes I do not have condoms because I cannot carry condoms home in my pocket or wallet or bag. My children always search my bag for sweets and money.

“I recall one time my male partner and I started to have sex without a condom but stopped. After that, I went to do a test. I tested negative and have not gone to another man without a condom,” he said.

He said he has no fear about his wife having sex with another man and giving HIV to him. Fatalistic as it is, if he is to get HIV, he would prefer to get it from her than from a man.

He said he wished he could tell his wife about the other side of his life but is fearful that she will be devastated. He loves her. He does not want others to know. He loves his children and does not want to lose them. All his male partners know about his wife and have had to respect that. He would also like to live with a man but cannot decide how he could live with both a man and woman.

“Sometimes my mind is overloaded and weighed down hard, but I take it one day at a time. I never made myself this way. If I did, I would change it. It’s not easy,” he said.

John Ward, a successful business owner, said he knew he was attracted to men from his early preteens, but got married for legal sex as he grew up in the Pentecostal church.

“As a teenager, I tried to conform, but it was very confusing and painful, not only for me but for the girls I dated. I wasn’t seen as macho enough — it was fine being friends with them but not anything else,” he explained.

Ward, who is now divorced, explained that he was attracted to and still finds his ex-wife very attractive, but the marriage didn’t work as he found he still wanted to have sex with men. Their sexual relationship was very good and she knew before they got married that he had interest in men.

“When I discussed it with her, she said I should choose. I found that I was even attracted to men who were her friends and spoke to her about it, but she kept saying I needed to choose,” he said.

“I remember at one point she told me to make sure I used condoms when I am with my male partners. I think at that point she had started to accept. We still maintain a relationship. We are still friends,” he explained.

Ward noted that the challenge was that his ex-wife couldn’t understand why she was not enough and “that was unhelpful”.

As it relates to condoms, he explained that he never planned to be unfaithful to his wife and so was not prepared for the times he did.

“I did use condoms a few times, but never really found them enjoyable with my wife and definitely with the outside partners I never planned these encounters. I just yielded to temptation and then swore it would never happen again,” Ward said.

Currently, Ward is not in a steady relationship and so far he continues to test negative for HIV.