Situational homosexuality, Substitutional sex, Experimentation or what? ……… sensational story yet again

A headline in the Star News dated December 16th blared “Buggery attack at boys’ home – Youngster accused of molesting younger wards” which again brought into sharp focus for me the issue of situational homosexuality and or substitutional sex in places of safety, prisons and other same gender populated areas and buildings where in our highly sexualized context contact is made every now and again be they forced or unforced, control maybe the motivator in some instances as previous cases have shown us that the perpetrators of such forced sexual contacts are not homosexual although the assault or play is same sexed. Of course the way the story is presented is with a sensationalistic twist by the Star News typically to sell papers which leaves far more questions than answers for the active mind who wants to examine these issues more profoundly and fairly. Situational, or “emergency” homosexuality is commonly defined as sexual activity with partners of the same sex that occurs not as part of a gay life style, but because the participants happen to find themselves in a single-sex environment for a prolonged period.

Some single-sex environments that frequently become venues for situational homosexuality include prisons, military bases, ships at sea, convents and monasteries, athletic teams on tour, and boarding schools and colleges. Situational homosexual behavior is so common in these venues that in some cases nicknames have been created for those who indulge in it; for example “rugger-buggers” on rugby teams, “jailhouse turnouts” in prisons, and “lugs” for “lesbians until (college) graduation.”

The idea of situational same-sex sexual activity is not a modern one. An essay by Josiah Flynt, published in 1899, told of situational sex among the male American hobos with whom he traveled. From the armies of Alexander the Great to the trenches of World War I to Desert Storm, male soldiers have taken comfort in each other’s arms; and from harems to convents to boarding schools, women who were forcibly separated from men have been finding each other for centuries.

Situational homosexual experience can range from the frightening, such as prison rape and sexual domination, to the comfortable, such as the lesbian experimentation that occurs within the relative safety of a college campus.

The Relationship of Situational Homosexuality to Homophobia

In many cultures, situational homosexuality is tolerated, while homosexuality as a life style is not.

Some social analysts believe that the concept of situational homosexuality is used to reinforce homophobia and biphobia by allowing those who perform homosexual acts in same-sex environments to continue to define themselves as heterosexual.

Often participants in same-sex activity in single-sex environments are differentiated between “true homosexuals” and those who retain the assumption of heterosexuality. In such cases, it is usually the “true homosexuals” who are stigmatized, while their partners are not. In making such a distinction, homophobia is reinforced even as same-sex sexual activity may be tolerated.

Although situational homosexuality is often both tacitly expected and to some degree tolerated, it is also expected to remain clandestine. When such homosexual activity is made public, even in venues where virtually everyone knows it is happening, punishment is usually swift and severe, though often the brunt of punishment is borne by the participant who is considered the “true homosexual” rather than the presumably heterosexual partner who ostensibly participates in same-sex activity only because of his or her situation.

also see:
Situational Homosexuality or Behavioral Bisexuality … a recap … subsequent discourse so far

First here is the very short article as with recent gay tinged articles from the former respected evening version of the Gleaner turned trashy tabloid but which unfortunately has a large following both online and in traditional hard copy.

 Buggery attack at boys’ home – Youngster accused of molesting younger wards

A ward of the state at a boys’ home in St Elizabeth has been charged with buggery.

Information reaching THE WEEKEND STAR is that the boy was taken to the Junction Police Station in the parish earlier this month where he was questioned and later charged.

On Wednesday, the matter was brought before the Black River Resident Magistrate’s Court where it was transferred.

The accused is scheduled to appear in the St Elizabeth Children’s Court today.

Allegations are that on Friday December 9, the accused forced other wards of the state into the act.

The court heard that about 9:45 p.m., an assistant manager at the home saw the accused and the other boys in compromising positions.

However, the boys allegedly ran when they realised they had been caught.

Furthermore, the court heard that one of the boys was held and he reported that he was forced into the act by the accused.

The boy also alleged that when he refused to participate, he was forcefully dragged by the accused to bushes behind one of the dorms and assaulted.

ENDS

Now the questions:

What is the age of the accused?

Did the other party run as or cry fowl as he wanted not to be viewed as complicit in the act as well?

Why was there any monitoring of the grounds so much so that shrubbery is available for hiding?

Is this a case of substitutional sex given the boys are in those years of heightened sexual awareness?

Could this be a case of experimentation given the same reasons above?

Are the rules and or guidelines of that facility so rigid that conditions become ripe for this kind of activity? 

What aren’t there any policies to deal with same sex attracted teens and their issues?

Why didn’t the Star News give us more relevant information such as the next court mention date and if there was any evidence available such as a doctor’s report that is used for cases such as this that involve penile penetration?

As per usual our advocacy structure has not been responding to these repeated stories that come in tabloids such as this or the now defunct XNews, EXcess or the older Enquirer which painted some same sex crimes as the perpetrators being sex hungry freaks who will stop at nothing for some booty, thus steadily stoking the homophobic pysche the many years and keeping anti gay support well fed on a diet of paedophile typed articles hence our castigation permanently marked on the men who have sex with men populations. These issues are not raised when we defend our positions on decriminalization of buggery and or fending off the notions from the Christian right community that homosexuals will basically spread our gayness to boys in particular. A fear expressed over and over again by their leading spokespersons.

see a recent symposium report as hosted by some anti gay leading voices:

A Rebuttal of the Foolishness Touted at the Lawyers Christian Fellowship symposium

We have seen problems with early initiation before and with some strange consequences such as this one as carried on this blog:

Experimental sex again ???

The homo-negativity surrounding paedophilia …….

Teen beaten, accused of being homosexual

Latent homosexuality & misconceptions creating havoc?

Jamaica Observer: Gay vs Paedophile, they seem not to know the difference

Crowds gather at Mandeville Courthouse for Trade show man charged with indecent assault on 13yo boy

and this one:  Teen accused of molesting 11-y-o – in the case of the latter where the accused was set upon and beaten until the police arrived to rescue him it was surmised that Both are minors in the eyes of the law. More pertinent to the case, what was the nature of the alleged molestation? It may have been simple experimentation, or it may have been an act of aggression. In either case the reaction of the residents is simply WRONG. Mob violence cannot be condoned, not against an adult and especially not against a child. Were any of the adults involved in the attack on the 15 year old taken into police custody? Had the police not arrived and taken the adolescent into custody, what would his fate have been? I think as Jamaicans we are so mortified by issues of sex and sexuality, that we fail to see the real moral issues at stake in the society… and in this case, it is the mob attack on a minor which needs to be urgently addressed (Or have we all become so barbaric and ignorant that we fail to see this as the crime?)

More to think about readers.

Peace and tolerance

H

We Can’t Legislate Sexuality

by Garth Rattray

British Prime Minister David Cameron’s threat to cut off financial aid to countries that fail to uphold human rights, including the oppression of homosexuals, had me taking another look at the relevant section within The Offences Against The Person Act.

Jamaica Gleaner Company

The section dealing with ‘Unnatural Offences’ (Section 76) reads: “Whosoever shall be convicted of the abominable crime of buggery, committed either with mankind or with any animal, shall be liable to be imprisoned and kept to hard labour for a term not exceeding 10 years.”

Naturally, I have no problem with criminalising bestiality; after all, lower animals do not possess the capacity to consent to copulation with human beings. And, the very idea of trans-species intimacy is warped and absurd. However, I wonder, how it can be an offence against a person if the persons involved not only agree to but also desire intimacy from one another.

Does the act, therefore, speak to an offence against society, even though it is a totally private matter only between two consenting adults? And, regarding the word ‘buggery’, it is oftentimes used interchangeably with ‘sodomy’, and sodomy is defined as ‘anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite gender’.

I assume that, for whatever reason, the spirit of the law was intended to criminalise peno-anal acts between two males. However, technically, it could also end up criminalising any sexual act between a male and a female, other than peno-vaginal intercourse, because such acts are viewed by some as ‘unnatural’ or ‘abnormal’.

The issue of fairness

Furthermore, even if our laws label any benign and non-violent act that takes place between two consenting adults behind closed doors as a ‘crime against nature’, that will never alter anyone’s sexuality. And, to be perfectly fair, shouldn’t other ‘unnatural’ sexual acts like intimacy between two females, such as ménages à trois and orgies, be criminalised abominations also? They are not as uncommon as some would want to believe. Perhaps, therefore, the act is a relic that was formulated secularly but on religious grounds. Shades of Shari’a law?

I do not agree with Britain’s arm-twisting tactic; but, that aside, our anti-buggery law (as it relates to intimacy between two people) does seem a little strange to me. Whatever intimate acts mentally competent and consenting adults do with each other out of the public view is between them and their individual morals. I belabour the point because too much time and effort is dedicated to a small section of a law that can never regulate intimacy. It can only drive such issues underground.

Heterosexual abominations

There are innumerable heterosexual abominations being committed constantly, but people are rarely consternated by them. Many female spouses from every stratum of society submit to their male partners out of need and/or fear every day. They give in to ‘normal’ and ‘legal’ (peno-vaginal) intercourse out of financial need, under duress, coercion, threat of violence or fear of physical and/or psychological abuse – yet hardly anyone speaks to those common wrongs.

Many victims of peno-vaginal rape, under a variety of circumstances, are eternally devastated and scarred – yet the sentences remain out of keeping with that dastardly crime. Many men who father children simply walk away, leaving their progeny at high risk for a life of crime which severely impacts all spheres of society – yet, our legal system does not adequately address that injustice.

Politicians don’t really care what individuals do behind closed doors; the prevailing public sentiment and powerful religious groups dictate that they maintain an Old Testament-inspired law in a vain attempt at legislating sexuality (which dictates sexual practices). We should concern ourselves instead with educating everyone about the individual and community health risks of those and other sexual activities.

Garth A. Rattray is a medical doctor with a family practice. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and garthrattray@gmail.com.

The Dance of Difference, The New Frontier of Sexual Orientation part II

In part one we looked at the book below on sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch where a preview of the first chapter can be seen via Kindle, also see the Smile Jamaica interview HERE – See the TVJ interview HEREAuthor Shirley Anderson-Fletcher, is a consultant with more than 30 years’ experience as an applied behavioural scientist, organisation systems analyst, executive coach and group facilitator.

Shirley Anderson Fletcher continued her promotional tour of sorts of her book The Dance of Difference where it was launched in Kingston Jamaica at Bookophilia   Thursday November 17.  She pushed the need for heterosexuals to rethink their stance on homosexuals and the associated stereotypes while speaking to Profile host Ian Boyne on Sunday November 20, 2011. Among other things she commented many of the points already outlined by advocates and independent LGBT voices over these many years.

I have been concerned about the oppression of racism and sexism for most of my adult life. However, I turned a blind eye to the oppression of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals until my fourteen-year-old son confronted me. I was forty-one years old at the time. He had overheard his dad and me laughing at a so-called ‘gay joke.’ He looked us in the eye and asked, “Would you really be laughing if there was someone gay in this room? Do you really think this is funny?” He looked at us long and hard before striding out of the room. I was mortified.

That was twenty-nine years ago. We made a commitment then to monitor our own prejudices and biases regarding gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. We’ve been intentional about building our awareness. And the reality is we still have a long way to go.


Shirley then employs a model called “Dialogue with Difference” for exploring this prejudice by presenting a transcript of a discussion about sexual orientation with a gay African American colleague, the Rev. Dr. Jamie Washington. That transcript comprises the middle section of the book, and it is revealing in many ways. This particular technique is based on the societal construct of dominance and subordination, but it turns that relationship on its head by permitting the subordinated group member in the dialogue to have the opportunity and authority to decide the focus of the discussion.

I was skeptical about this type of presentation but found myself drawn into the discussion and learning a lot about the issue and, like Shirley, my own preconceptions and prejudices.

This is the first of a series of books on prejudice by Shirley, collectively entitled The Dance of Difference. If you want a break from traditional fluffy summer beach reading, it is well worth your time.

Publication Date: April 15, 2011
It is rare for heterosexuals to acknowledge, much less write about, their own homophobia. This black grandmother who grew up in the homophobic culture of Jamaica in the 40’s and 50’s offers a moving look into the challenges faced daily by people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) because of the learned biases, attitudes and behavior of heterosexuals. The author, a behavioral scientist, who migrated to the United States 30 years ago, shares examples from her early life experiences as well as examples from her long career as an organizational consultant in the United States and Europe. The centerpiece of the book is a spontaneous dialogue between the author and a gay pastor about the realities of life for members of the gay community.

On the matter of rights to gays such as marriage she commented that she does not see a reason why homosexuals shouldn’t have them just as heterosexuals. She asked “Would Christ be hostile towards a group of people created by the father?” when pressed on the Leviticusal arguments presented by mainly religious personalities, she continued that “…the Bible has been used to justify slavery, it has been used to justify racism and it has been used to justify the oppression of women so in a way I’m not surprised that the Bible is now being used to justify the oppression of people who are gay lesbian etc…….. I am also aware of the fact that Christ never said a word about homosexuality” 

” ……. I can certainly understand this can be a challenging issue for people who are religious for people who are Christian and I would just say I want to encourage my Christian brothers and sisters to go back to the teachings of Christ and ask yourself, Would Christ be hostile towards a group of people created by the father?”

She continued “There is no evidence that I can name that would um you know that would describe homosexuality as a lifestyle, I believe homosexuals are by nature who they are in the same way that heterosexuals are by nature, they didn’t make that choice, a moment for me, right, a lightbulb moment, a lightbulb went off in my head when I thought did I choose my sexual orientation? and I know I never did any such thing all of a sudden at about age 12/13 the same boys who I thought were horrible all of a sudden were looking very very cute there was no choice it just was my evolution and I believe that gays and lesbians evolve in similar ways.”

In an interview with the Gleaner’s Flair, Anderson-Fletcher pointed out that growing up in Jamaica, she learnt to be homophobic at an early age, something that most Jamaicans learn from their elders and parents. In contrast, Jamaicans are always described as the most loving set of people on the earth, and as told through music, Jamaica is synonymous with love, an irony, considering we are also one of the most homophobic people on the planet.

She hopes that after reading the book, parents will be able to use it to look at themselves and the negative behaviours they have learnt and taught. “It is a useful resource that organisations and others can use in the development of programmes geared at avoiding discrimination against gays at the workplace and elsewhere,” the author said. She noted that it can also be used by psychologists and psychiatrists with their patients who are grappling with the issue.

Discrimination against the lesbian and gay community is everywhere, particularly because homophobic people do not stop to ponder why someone would deliberately choose a lifestyle that sees them being constantly vilified, hated, stigmatised and shunned as outcasts.

Her wishes

Anderson-Fletcher would like Jamaicans to read the book and if they are interested in changing their behaviour, to look at themselves and the subtle ways in which they learnt to be homophobic, understanding that they were not born with prejudices. They should also reflect on those prejudices in relation to race and gender. Finally, look at what happens to the gay community in society, take the bold step to talk to them, find out what their life is about, who are they beyond the sexual orientation?

The author is happy with Jamaica’s progress to date, she is pleased that the organisation Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All-sexuals and Gays is now affirming itself and speaking out about prejudice. “Unless the subordinated group rises up against its opponent, nothing will happen, it’s like the American civil rights movement, nothing was achieved until the brave stood up and said ‘no more’,” she noted. She further said she was fully aware of what it takes to live in a society that sees your behaviour as sinful and deviant, but if you are not speaking out, you are willingly giving up your freedom. “The question gays need to ask is: ‘am I going to hide or be self-actualised and speak out for justice and human rights?’

http://danceofdifference.com/index.html

She said she remains passionate about her work because she finds it gratifying. she hopes that Jamaicans will move out of their comfort zone and begin to accept all minority groups in the society.

her sister said:

“Anderson Fletcher’s voice is authentic as it is courageous. Her decades of work as an Applied Behavioral Scientist specializing in Diversity – facilitates the process whereby the reader experiences the trauma of homophobia and the way it seeps into our Being and impacts our world. More importantly, because of the methodology of the book, she shares powerfully not only her own experience with us, but invites us to share ours through reflection and enquiry. The methodology of the book is critical for discussing not only sexual orientation but is applicable to any area of discrimination. Anderson Fletcher points out all are inextricably linked.”

– Beverley Anderson Manley, Broadcaster, Political Scientist, former First Lady of Jamaica

Here is a piece of the audio from the Profile Interview as at post time the video was not uploaded to the Television Jamaica (TVJ) site:

 Shirley Fletcher’s Dance of Difference on Profile 20.11.11

Peace and tolerance

H

Buggery And Health – What The Gay-Rights Lobby Doesn’t Tell You

Byron Buckley

Byron Buckley

ALTHOUGH IT is fashionable to frame the discussion about the reform of buggery laws in terms of human rights, a more serious look at the issue from a public policy perspective indicates that it is essentially a public-health matter.

So, before Jamaica rushes headlong to appease the wishes of international donor ‘masters’, like the British government, to repeal our buggery laws, let us determine whether we can afford to provide for the health-care challenges that come with embracing gay rights.

Studies conducted in the developed countries of France and Australia, where effective treatment of HIV with highly active antiretroviral therapy (HAART) is available, have shown a consistent increase in HIV incidence among homosexual men since the late 1990s. A 2008 study in France found HIV incidence highest among homosexual men – 1,006 per 100,000 person-years. In contrast, the HIV incidence in other groups was nine per 100,000 person-years for heterosexual men and 86 per 100,000 person-years for intravenous drug users. The study found that although overall HIV incidence in France decreased between 2003 and 2008, it remained comparatively high and appeared out of control among the population of men who have sex with men (MSM).

Readers should note that homosexuality has been legal in France for centuries. In deed, France is socially liberal regarding sexuality in general. However, the existence of both a liberal human rights and public-health framework in that country has not abated the rise of HIV among homosexual men. This is something for the Jamaican society and policymakers to ponder. Will legalising homosexuality necessarily result in better health management among that section of the population?

No guarantee of safe sex

A 2007 report by the University of New South Wales in Australia found a high incidence of HIV infection in homosexual men linked to unprotected anal intercourse (UAI). This is despite the excellent treatment response to HAART among Australian MSM. The infection rate remained the same as prior to the use of HAART.

In other words, the progress made in HIV treatment was being undermined by the efficient transmission of the disease through anal intercourse. The lesson for Jamaica is that legalisation of homosexuality does not automatically guarantee safe sex. It is not as simple as that – scarce resources would have to be spent in trying to modify sexual behaviour, as is the case with heterosexual behaviour.

Can we afford the cost to provide the equivalent level of health care to an unrestrained domestic homosexual population as in developed countries? A study conducted by the HIV Research Network in the United States – where gay sex is legal – found the mean annual total expenditures per person for HIV care in 2006 as US$19,912 (J$1,672,608). The research concluded that “HIV health care in the United States continues to be expensive, with the majority of expenditures [sic] attributable to medications”.

It follows that if Jamaica relaxes its buggery laws, like some advanced economies, we are likely to increase the burden on our under-resourced health-care system. In so doing, we would be dooming more of our people to a life of ill health, since we can’t afford the expensive treatment.

Women’s rights infringed

If there is a human-rights component to the campaign to reform Jamaica’s buggery laws, it is that innocent heterosexual women are being preyed upon, and their health compromised unknowingly, by bisexual men, that is men who have sex with men and women (MSMW).

In September 2010, the United States-based Centers for Disease Control and Prevention grouped homosexual and bisexual men and reported the incidence of HIV as 44 times that of heterosexual men. This demonstrates the substantial health risk to a female from having sex with MSMW.

Furthermore, data from Trinidad and Tobago indicate that the MSMW group comprises 25 per cent of MSM – that is, bisexual men make up a quarter of men who engage in gay sex. And they regularly have sex with women.

Of course, gay-rights advocates can counterargue that there is no prohibition to risky or unsafe sexual activities among the heterosexual population. Gay-rights sympathisers also point to other health behaviours that have negative consequences, but are not subject to a legislative ban. Smoking and the consumption of alcohol are two obvious examples.

However, what policymakers have to weigh is the cost impact of the risk related to each type of health behaviour; hence, for example, the prohibition of the use of marijuana and other hard drugs. Conversely, smoking and alcohol abuse may very well be overdue for prohibition because of their negative impact on the health of the population. The point is that policymakers must bear in mind public-health consequences, even when making decisions regarding the protection of human rights.

For a struggling, developing country like Jamaica, it would be foolhardy for us to take a decision – to appease foreign donors and investors – that could result in increased burden on our already hobbling health system, as well as a possible rise in morbidity and mortality levels.

Are we that yet developed? Or is it that developed donor countries will cough up the money needed to provide the public-health infrastructure required to support the health fallout brought on by gay rights.

Byron Buckley is an associate editor at The Gleaner. The views expressed in this article are personal. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and byron.buckley@gleanerjm.com.

ANAL-SEX HEALTH CHALLENGES

Anal sex presents several health challenges:

• People who engage in anal sex are vulnerable to illness because the lack of lubrication in the rectum, compared to the vagina, results in increased likelihood of small tears which afford easy access of the HIV and other virus to the bloodstream.

• The cells lining the vagina are like those of the skin. It is several layers thick and designed to handle wear and tear. The lining of the rectum is a single layer thick and is not designed for wear and tear.

• Anal sex increases the risk of cancer from the human papillomavirus, the same virus associated with cervical cancer.

• Anal sex contributes to Lymphogranuloma venereum, which leads to procto-colitis.

• Compared with other sexually active adults, MSM are more frequently infected with several pathogens, including cytomegalovirus, hepatitis B virus, and Kaposi sarcoma-associated herpes virus.

Offences Against the Person Act

Unnatural Offences

76. Whosoever shall be convicted of the abominable crime of buggery, committed either with mankind or with any animal, shall be liable to be imprisoned and kept to hard labour for a term not exceeding 10 years.

77. Whosoever shall attempt to commit the said abominable crime, or shall be guilty of any assault with intent to commit the same, or of any indecent assault upon any male person, shall be guilty of a misdemeanour, and being convicted thereof, shall be liable to be imprisoned for a term not exceeding seven years, with or without hard labour.

ENDS

My response on the Gleaner page which I doubt they will publish:

” if Jamaica relaxes its buggery laws, like some advanced economies, we are likely to increase the burden on our under-resourced health-care system. In so doing, we would be dooming more of our people to a life of ill health, since we can’t afford the expensive treatment.” (cute way of saying we are nothing but AIDS carriers)

……. and the mistake again that repealing buggery will suddenly equals gay rights kmt, good thing I did this yesterdayhttp://soundcloud.com/glbtqja6/homosexulaity-is-not-illegal anal sex if far more safer and tidier (microbicidal technology and PEPFAR getting funding added) than decades gone by.

Better he postured his argument on the possible relaxed guard towards safer sex and prevention messages some gay/bi men have adopted who practice anal sex have gotten since we aren’t dropping like flies anymore and also realise that NOT all gay/bi carry out anal penetration regularly although they are in minority but any cute way to keep us in the closet eh?, why not suggest outercourse or non penetrative same sex as an option since he is so afraid of AIDS? yet again substitutional sex and situational homosexuality are left out of the equation although he poorly pointed out the bisexual linkages to HIV/AIDS infections ……….. he needs to get in the know a little more.

Down low life in the Gleaner: Is my fiancé gay?

pic from http://chroniclesofdownlowbrotha.blogspot.com/

Question

Doctor, I am a 32-year-old woman and I recently met a wonderful Jamaican man. But I would like your medical opinion about him. I am foreign by birth, but have lived here for several years.

He has now proposed to me, and we plan to get married later this year. We are talking about having three children, and having a marvellous life together. Sex with him is great, though he does not seem to want it as often as I do.

I am currently having a wonderful time making arrangements for the wedding, and inviting relatives, etc. He tries to help me, but he is very busy, particularly in the evenings.

What worries me is that he has quite a lot of male friends, who don’t appear all that friendly towards me. He was talking to one of them on thephone the other day, and I am almost sure that his friend made some sort of derogatory comment about me.

Also, I heard him say ‘I’m looking forward to being “down low” with you,’ or something like that. Later, when I asked him what ‘down low’ meant, he just laughed and would not tell me.

But my main concern is his lack of sex drive. Do you think I can help him increase it when we are married?

Answer

No, I do not. Women often think that marriage will somehow ‘change’ a man in some way, but it rarely does. Certainly, there is no likelihood that getting married will ‘pep up’ his sex drive, and make him more enthusiastic about having intercourse with you.

Another point that concerns me is this. You heard him use the phrase ‘down low’ to his male friend.

Presumably you are not aware of this, but in some parts of Jamaica, and indeed in the United States, the phrase ‘down low’ has a special meaning. It refers to the situation where a man marries a woman (or perhaps lives with her) in order to achieve ‘respectability’, but secretly sees other men for sex.

So ‘down low sex’ is a homosexual activity practised by a married man who is pretending to be heterosexual.

Now I do not wish to be unfair to your fiancé. It is just possible that he used the words ‘down low’ to mean something else. After all, those two words could refer to a meeting place that is further down a hill, or something like that.

But we must take into consideration the fact that he apparently doesn’t have much interest in having sex with you. Also, he seems to have a lot of male friends who don’t like you very much. And it sounds as though he spends his evenings with them. All of this appears to add up to potential trouble.

Therefore, I do not think you should go ahead with this wedding until the two of you have seen an experienced marriage counsellor. And maybe your first move should be to ask your fiancé to tell you honestly whether he is going in for ‘down low sex’.

ENDS

Notes:

This letter writer sounds too simplistic for me to be a real write-in query but be that as it maybe or not the media is at it again on gay issues since the recent Charter of Rights uproar and the ignoring of discrimination of sexual orientation coverage from the document which is to replace section three of the constitution.

The response seems guarded at first but the speculation that the male friends may be a problem in the future without any further particulars provided is too speculative for me, after all Jamaican men in general are homosocial, if she even had a problem such as what is purported here why would she write to a newspaper column about this just like that? couldn’t she have consulted her family and so on or a trusted friend or a private consultation?

I always doubt these letters as presented to us sometimes in the press with these simplistic queries that don’t add up in some cases and even more far out responses.

What you think?

Peace and tolerance

H

Lesbian Identified Bisexual ………oh those labels

So the labels become more intertwined as we struggle to free ourselves while gaining recognition for who we are, a debate now rages in certain parts of the blogosphere and social network sites leaning towards bisexuals about the above captioned “label” which could be interpreted as a bisexual female who identifies as lesbian mostly to other lesbians or lgbt people probably our of fear or rejection or having to explain who she is to others who are strident in their own “gayness”
Some of the comments from the debate which I took the liberty of copying for this post suggest persons are confused or at best trying to come to terms with the description given that bisexuals get a bad rap already just from “invisibility” faced even while grouped under the LGBT rights/activism banner.
Some comments include:

“I know people who are “Straight-identified Bisexuals” and straight women who call themselves “Women-identified” and in many cases to make it clearer the phrase “Bi-identified LGBT Activist” is used. I guess it depends on the context and the intent.”

“I see no problem with a lesbian-id’d or straight-id’d bisexual person. I think it’s more forthright of a description, certainly is more detailed and honest, to me.”

“I totally own this label, even though I am now married to a man. For me, it means that I am more into women and I identify a lot with lesbian culture.”
” If someone is embarrassed about the state of the bisexual community then instead of hiding their personal identity they should help make it safer for people to identify as bi. The act of closeting one’s identity reinforces the idea that on some level it really is something that ought to be hidden. This really is an area where, as a bisexual person, one is either part of the problem or part of the solution. I would venture that, proportionally, there are more closeted bi people than closeted lesbian, gay, or trans folks. When I came out it was partially a personal decision and partially a political one. In today’s America, anyone’s coming out is more or less the same in that way. There is a lot of internalized biphobia and it is related to, but distinct from, internalized homophobia. As a community internalized biphobia (as a separate issue from internalized homophobia) is something we need to be having a lot more conversations about”
“For what its worth-my own identification with the bisexual label, or any label I have chosen for myself over the years, has always made me look away from orientation and more towards one’s character rather than their category. The label only tells a small part the story. Not necessarily a popular view but still unique for those who choose to look it at that way.”

 

“they’re calling themselves lesbian only to later come out bi in close personal conversations and request that it be kept secret.”
“I know a couple of women who use this term to mean that they have had and would be open to future relationships/attractions towards men but they are primarily attracted to and date women. In fact, these 2 women, tend to use the term “lesbian identified bisexuals” when talking with bisexuals (I guess to denote where on the spectrum they fall). In mixed/un-known company, they use bisexual. I guess I’d have to evaluate the person using the title to know what they mean by using that term.”


Sadly even in the gay community we give bisexuals a bad rap and many do fear coming out or disclosing that they prefer both sexes in fear of being vilified as confused or even described as nymphomaniac and unable to be satisfied as we gays cage them in our homo normative world.
As one comment above states we reinforce the biphobia and invisibility problem when we condemn our brothers and sisters who go both ways, another problem in the Jamaican GLBTQI advocacy context is that bisexuality is ever hardly discussed thus the advocates commit biphobia by default and thus our inability to handle even homophobic issues when all are tied together and then we wonder about the downlow?
Identifying as Bisexual, Fluid, Pansexual or Queer simply means that you were born with the capacity to be attracted to people regardless of someone’s sexual or gender identity.

It does not define either one’s lifestyle or sexual behavior. It does not mean you are promiscuous, a fence-sitter, a slut, a nympho, in the closet, unable to commit, trying to claim heterosexual privileges or whatever. Bisexual and pansexual people can monogamous or abstinent. They may have multiple sexual partners or be married/partnered for life. In other words, lives of bisexual/pansexual people are pretty much identical as those who identify as lesbian, straight or gay except that you have the capacity to like people of more than one gender.

Being bisexual/pansexual is part of who you are, of what makes you”uniquely you”, but it does not dictate that you must then follow the crowd or what some people say about how “people like you” should live your life.

Many pansexual/bisexual people may have one committed relationship that lasts for decades while others may have many different kinds of relationships with different people. Some bisexual/pansexual people have no sexual relationships or they may have relationships with people of only one gender; yet, they still consider themselves to be bisexual/pansexual. On the other hand many people may have relationships with people of their own and the other gender, and yet they self-identify as Gay, Lesbian or Straight.

Also don’t worry about not knowing for sure right away. Sexuality and self-knowledge develops over time, and you should feel no pressure to identify in any particular way to please other people. Follow your own heart, it all comes down to what makes you feel most comfortable and what you perceive yourself to be.

Coming to terms with your bisexuality can be difficult. However, lots of people have difficulty learning to like themselves, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Some people also have difficulty understanding bisexuality, and some bisexual people may try to hide their bisexuality. In an effort to numb the effects of societal stigma, people may turn to drugs and alcohol and may even attempt suicide because their situation seems unbearable. However the vast majority of other bisexual people – just like you – lead successful, happy lives and you can too.

It helps to be informed and to know that you aren’t alone. Read about bisexuality. Learn what it means to be bisexual. Make an effort to meet other bisexuals – they can be a valuable resource to build your self-confidence.

Just remember that there are lots bisexual people wherever you are. Sooner or later you will meet someone who feels some of the same things you do and has had similar experiences. Realizing that you are not the only bisexual person will make liking yourself a lot easier.

Peace and tolerance
H
(excerpts taken from BiNet USA) or here

Some cruising challenges ……….

Lewd conduct

So on Saturday last January 8th a report that a man had to beat a hasty retreat in the downtown Kingston area after a cruising attempt went wrong as the intended target turned out to be not as he anticipated was true I have since gathered that a small mob was hastily put together by the man (the target of the cruiser) from the nearby rural municipal bus park as there are major works being done in that section of downtown Kingston with the new bus park being hastily put together beyond the old park. The downtown area like most other urban centers is a haven for “catching something”  for a quickie or some outdoor action for the more daring MSMs around. Sadly many of these cruisers are not your average gays who frequent gay parties, clubs, interested, exposed or involved in advocacy typed activities or issues hence the actions go unnoticed or grossly underreported as incidents as the persons involved simply move on.

Between Sunday afternoon and up to last evening some of the guys were sufficiently upset at the news of this near miss in downtown that they decided to link all the known cruisers across the downtown and uptown regions and those they could identify to alert them to be cautious, I was quite pleased by this action towards preservation of self showing us that there can be on the ground networking outside of us worrying about persons putting themselves at risk. It is the heightened sense of awareness of their surroundings that was the reason where a recently murdered cross dresser in Kingston ignored when warned by the more experienced heads in the business, bearing in mind this set of cruisers are of a different identity as they operate in stealth and are not easily identifiable as gay as they bear no characteristics of the stereotypes to those of their cross dressing counterparts, for sure some formal work however is needed to engage this mostly invisible group that is not to say other gay and bisexual men do not employ cruising especially given our starchy homo negative environment towards open displays of same sex affection. This particular group of cruisers though that I write of are the more daring and brazen ones who go to the weirdest of spots for hookups and are not into other ways of same sex attracted social behaviours.

The population to my surprise consists of not only MSMs mostly from the lower socio economic levels as is widely assumed but also professionals who prefer a mobile way of “working” for a hookup. Somehow the classes do meet sometimes in a commercial sexual transaction set up, that could probably explain the reasons why the homeless MSMs do indeed garner “business” from not just others at their social standing but way above. There are some who literally park their vehicles and do enter the “fieldwork” as the others on foot do. One particular mobile individual I am personally familiar with says he prefers cruising than engaging someone in any long introductions or fancy fake chat as a way to impress someone before bedding them. He is just out for fun he would park at a safe distance and space and then work his layout he maps in his head or anywhere is leads to. His success rate is fair he concludes as but he complains he wants to see more “new faces” which suggest repetitive sexual contact with the same targets as they all work within or cross territories. One thing is a common thread amongst those persons I was able to talk to they all suggest there are new faces around who are more open and bold in their approach.

This group is also not to be confused with persons who practice exhibitionism or open masturbation in public spaces.

Maybe there is some hypocrisy to this  on one hand seeing that some persons of an uptown persuasion (in mind but not physical address) are very selective about who they knowingly socialize with I assume peers and the intelligencia who on the face of it seem quite far removed from such decadence yet on the other hand they engage in cruising activities outside their comfort zone albeit the danger and the thrills are usually driving factors for a cruiser coupled with the satisfaction of making the hookup that successful in the middle of danger. That could also explain the reasons why so many high profile cases of gay and bisexual Jamaicans of prominence are found dead in the threshold of their own homes. The issues overlap and one post won’t be enough to cover all of it but the Downlow Lifestyles tab as this post is tagged to can begin to help us to unearth some of those concerns.

Certainly this is just touching the surface and we must also realize that not all the information can be shared via the posts on such matters.

Peace and tolerance

H

Oral sex and HIV

Sucking cock

Source

Man about to deep throat a dildo

It is possible to get HIV from sucking cock but the likelihood of this occurring is very low. No one knows exactly how risky sucking cock is, partly because most men who suck cock will also fuck or get fucked as well and it is impossible to know which sexual act is responsible for the transmission of HIV.

Very few men whose only reported risk is from oral sex have caught HIV, which leads us to believe that the risk is relatively low but also indicates that there is some risk. Oral sex is the most frequent kind of gay sex 1, so it says a lot that so few men have caught HIV from oral sex. We do know that well over 95% of HIV infections in gay men are due to fucking. 2

The reason that oral sex is so much safer than getting fucked is that the throat is not as vulnerable to infection as the arse is. Saliva has properties that can disable some infections, including HIV, and so there needs to be quite a lot of HIV present for infection to take place.3

Also, the mouth and throat are not as efficient at absorbing liquids into the bloodstream as the lining of the arse is. Even if you swallow cum, any HIV that may be there will usually be killed by the strong acids in your stomach.

Although the HIV risk from sucking cock is relatively low, there are ways that you can reduce the risk further. It’s extremely unlikely that you could catch HIV from giving someone a blowjob if they don’t cum in your mouth. Although there is HIV in the pre-cum of a man with HIV, there is less than there is in his cum. This is because a man will generally produce more cum than he does pre-cum, and because cum has a higher concentration of HIV than pre-cum. The protective properties in saliva would usually be able to disable the amount of HIV that there is in pre-cum. A condom, used correctly, will prevent either cum or pre-cum getting in the mouth, although few gay men in the UK currently use condoms for oral sex.

You will be more vulnerable to infections if you have bleeding, scratched or damaged gums, mouth ulcers or a sore throat. People with gum disease or ulcers will be more likely to catch HIV or other infections from oral sex. It may be wise to avoid brushing your teeth just before giving someone a blowjob, particularly if you want him to cum in your mouth. Using a mouthwash before or immediately after oral sex will remove the protective properties that saliva contains and so may increase the risk of transmission.

Although the risk of HIV infection is fairly low, some other STIs can be easily passed via oral sex, such as chlamydiagonorrhoeaherpes or syphilis. These risks can be avoided by using a condom for oral sex, although many men prefer to take the risk than taste the rubber. There is a small risk of picking up hepatitis B through oral sex, if you have not been vaccinated. If you have an existing STI in your throat you will be more vulnerable to infection and the chances of picking up HIV or Hep B are increased.

You may be vulnerable to other STIs this way, such as chlamydiagonorrhoeaherpes and syphilis. This is because all of these STIs are much more infectious than HIV. If you wanted to prevent the small risk of getting an STI you should wear a condom for oral sex. As many men choose not to do this, it’s advisable to have a regular sexual health check-up to ensure that any infections you may pick up can be detected and treated quickly.

References:

1 Sigma Researh. Multiple Chances. Findings from the United Kingdom Gay Men’s Sex Survey 2006.

2 Gilbart VL et al. HIV transmission among men who have sex with men through oral sex. Sex Transm Infect 80: 324, 2004.

3 Fox, P.C. et al. Saliva inhibits HIV-1 infectivity. J Am Dent Assoc. 1988 May;116(6):635-7.

The Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name: Homosexuality

One hundred and forty years ago on May 6, 1868, the word homosexuality was invented.

Before then, there were very few value-neutral words to describe people who experienced romantic or sexual attractions toward others of the same sex. Pejoratives such as “bugger,” “molly,” “sodomite,” or “pederast” were common, words loaded with condemnation and shame. But as the budding science of sexology began to grow, and as same-sex loving defenders began to speak out about what same-sex love was all about, their first problem was with how to name it. “Abominable vice” wouldn’t do. A new word was desperately needed to describe their lives and feelings.

The love that dared not speak its name couldn’t. It didn’t have one.

The first to try to name this love was the German gay-rights advocate Karl Heinrich Ulrichs. In the 1860’s, he described the urning as a “male-bodied person with a female psyche,” who is sexually attracted to men and not women. An Urningin was a “female-bodied person with a male psyche,” and Urningthum came to mean homosexuality itself. Ulrichs devised an entire system of classification based on different combinations of attractions and gender roles. Some of these words gained usage in English, although the less foreign-sounding sexual inversion and inverts to describe homosexuality and homosexuals respectively fell more naturally to English ears. But in a few short years, those words would become obsolete, replaced by the creation of an aspiring Hungarian writer.

Karl-Maria KertbenyKarl-Maria Kertbeny (or Károly Mária Kertbeny) was an Austrian-born Hungarian journalist, memoirist and human rights campaigner. Kertbeny reportedly became interested in homosexuality when a close friend committed suicide after being blackmailed by an extortionist. Kertbeny later said that this, combined with his “instinctive drive to take issue with every injustice” — as a Hungarian, he knew what it was to be a minority in Vienna — drove him to advocate for civil rights for gay people.

Kertbeny’s own sexuality remains unclear however: He described himself as “normally sexed,” but his diaries reportedly document his appreciation for the male form. When he moved to Berlin in 1868 at the age of 44, he was still unmarried. It was at around this time that Kertbeny coined the word Homosexualität — “of the same sex” — from the Greek prefix homo- (same) and the Latin root sexualis (sex). His first known usage of this word is documented in a letter he wrote to Ulrichs on May 6, 1868.

Karl-Maria Kertbeny’s letter

Karl-Maria Kertbeny’ pamphletHomosexualität made its first known public appearance the following year, when Kertbeny anonymously published the pamphlet Paragraph 143 of the Prussian Penal Code and Its Maintenance as Paragraph 152 of the Draft of a Penal Code for the North German Confederation. This pamphlet advocated for the repeal of Prussia’s sodomy laws, saying that private consensual sex acts shouldn’t be subject to criminal penalties.

Homosexualität gained usage as other German advocates began putting forth the idea that homosexuality was inborn, a “medical problem” which placed homosexuality as a form of pathology or illness. Today of course we recoil at the abuses which arose from this “homosexuality as pathology” mindset, but in the nineteenth century this “medical model” represented a significant improvement in attitudes to homosexuality. Before Ulrichs and Kertbeny, homosexuality was viewed as a mere wickedness or moral degeneracy to be severely punished — often by pillory or death.

But Kertbeny appeared to understand the dangers behind the “medical model.” He not only saw that the “innate” argument was potentially dangerous, but that it was also irrelevant. In that vein, his advocacy for gay civil liberties was remarkably modern:

To prove innateness … is a dangerous double edged weapon. Let this riddle of nature be very interesting from the anthropological point of view. Legislation is not concerned whether this inclination is innate or not, legislation is only interested in the personal and social dangers associated with it … Therefore we would not win anything by proving innateness beyond a shadow of doubt. Instead we should convince our opponents — with precisely the same legal notions used by them — that they do not have anything at all to do with this inclination, be it innate or intentional, since the state does not have the right to intervene in anything that occurs between two consenting persons older than fourteen, which does not affect the public sphere, nor the rights of a third party.”

Kertbeny had another thoroughly modern idea about homosexuality, and this one is probably the most salient for understanding homosexualität’s triumph over urning and invert. The word homosexual doesn’t refer to any assumptions about gender roles or attributes. An urning, remember, was a “male-bodied person with a female psyche.” This of course bore a direct reference to effeminacy, a presumed hallmark of all gay men. And urningin, a “female-bodied person with a male psyche,” referred to lesbians’ perceived innate masculinity. (The English term invert carried with it similar assumptions of “inverse” gender characteristics.) But in writing about homosexuality, Kertbeny pointedly noted that homosexual men were not necessarily effeminate, citing several heroic historical figures as examples.

In 1880, Gustav Jäger used Kertbeny’s homosexualität in his book Discovery of the Soul. That book also included Kertbeny’s other useful word heterosexualität. Then the German sex researcher Richard von Krafft-Ebing borrowed those terms for his highly influential 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis. Homosexuality appears to have entered the English language at about 1895, which is when Charles Gilbert Chaddock translated Psychopathia Sexualis into English. And when Sigmund Freud used it in his books and lectures, he propelled its use among psychologists and psychoanalysts as well as in popular culture.

But admiration for the new word wasn’t universal. English sexologist Havelock Ellis, whose 1897 work Sexual Inversion became one of the first widely published English texts to deal with homosexuality, hated its bastardization of Greek and Latin. “‘Homosexual’ is a barbarously hybrid word,” Ellis wrote in a footnote. “It is, however, convenient, and now widely used. ‘Homogenic’ has been suggested as a substitute.”

Homogenic never caught on, and Ellis ended up using the word homosexual himself more often in his text than the terminology found in his volume’s title. By the 1930’s the homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual had almost completely erased the Urning and the invert for describing an individual’s sexual orientation.

Kertbeny’s graveKertbeny however didn’t live to see his Homosexualität in widespread use. He died of a stroke in Budapest in 1882 at the age of 58, still unmarried. He was buried in Budapest’s Kerepesi Cemetery. In 2002, members of Budapest’s gay community placed a new tombstone over his rediscovered grave, where it is now customary to lay a wreath during Hungarian gay festivals.

Thanks to BOXTURTLE for this I was searching for the book and came across this, more updates to come where needed.

Read more on Karl-Maria Kertbeny from Wikipedia

Peace and tolerance

H

Premature ejaculation problem for Mr. Quick

DENISE DENNIS All Woman writer
Premature ejaculation is the inability to exercise control over the ejaculatory process. There is no determined cause — it may be psychological, or caused by other problems like infections, hormone or thyroid problems, or others. Treating the problem may require anything from drugs to psychological help, and as his partner, it’s important for a woman to also do all she can to help. Here are a few tips:

1. Take the initiative to resolve the issue without hurting your partner’s feelings. He might not want to say to you that he has a problem but you both know that he does, so you will have to start figuring out how you will help him.

2. Talk about it. But be careful how you do this. You do not want make him angry or hurt so as to worsen his situation. Be as calm and loving as possible when you bring it up. Let him know he need not be embarrassed because it is just between you and him and you are only trying to improve the sexual experience for both of you.

3. You have to be willing to work with your partner to restore and enhance his sexual potency. You cannot tell him ‘do this and do that’ and not be there to do it with him. Anything he needs to try, you have to try it with him.

4. You must help him choose the right medication. Premature ejaculation may be successfully treated with certain antidepressant drugs, which may have the side effect of increasing the time taken to ejaculate. There are medical ways to help this problem, let him know you will support him in getting help.

5. Reassure your partner that you love all of his touching and kissing. He is facing something that is very likely ruining his confidence and decapitating his ego. Many rapid ejaculators see themselves as being sexual failures in the eyes of their partners and will worry about it. To overcome his problem, he will need a confidence boost.

6. Help him relax. If your man is tense, it might result in him being the ‘one-minute man’ you have come to know. Taking a bath with him before intercourse could help to make him more relaxed.

7. Gently discourage a rush to intercourse and encourage him to explore your body in many ways. If needed and desired, encourage him to stimulate you to orgasm in other ways. If you have already climaxed before intercourse begins, some of the pressure is taken off your partner.

8. Change positions. Encourage him to try sexual positions with you that will make him more comfortable. The man-on-top position usually means he has to balance his weight on his arms and as such he might lose control or awareness of his arousal and his ejaculation. Woman-on-top is usually more effective in giving him more control to last longer.

9. Finally, he is your man, and for your pleasure and his ego, you want to make it right. So just remember this will not go away in a day or night but will mean some give and take and a lot of patience on your part.