“Tell Me Pastor” says he does not condemn homosexuals ….

In the latest in the Tell Me Pastor series in the Star News we see a supposed letter to Pastor Aaron Dumas saying that Jamaica is getting slack (immoral) with regards to homosexuality or displays of affection in public becoming more visible, of course following on the rising public discourse on the Prime Minister designate and soon to be sworn in (4pm today) Portia Simpson Miller’s suggestion to review the buggery law and then to a parliamentary conscience vote, no mention was made of any changes to the Charter of Rights in case the vote is a positive one in favour of a repeal. Many doubt she will get that support even from her own ranks as this hot button issue of buggery and by extension homosexuality has been declared suicidal for any administration.

Here is the letter in the Star News:

Jamaica is getting really slack

Dear Pastor,

Something is really bothering me. What do you think about a man lying with another man? My Bible is against it and these people are too upfront with these ungodly acts. Jamaica is getting really slack.


Pastor responds

Dear A.,

I read the same Bible you read. My position on homosexuality has not changed. The Bible condemns it. Therefore, I cannot encourage people to engage in it. However, I do not condemn homosexuals, whether they are males or females.

Most homosexuals who have written to me have declared that they hate what they do and they yearn for deliverance. And often when I quote the Bible in responding to them, some people say that I am condemning them. I have never condemned homosexuals. I only say what the Bible says.

I believe that no one is beyond God’s mercy and power.

I used to work with a psychiatrist and I have referred homosexuals to him for professional help and he claimed that the last young man I sent to him, has received deliverance and is now a Christian and has a wonderful wife. So, I say, give God thanks for what he has done for this young man.

And I am sure that He can do the same for others.



Clearly the restorative therapy cue is once again being infused and isn’t the strong castigation sometimes from pulpits and from even the goodly pastor himself in previous letters similar to this are kinds of condemnation given how heated the and vitriolic the responses can get at times? I have not yet met anyone even after accepting Christ as saviour and while initially denying or saying they have diminished same sex feelings in their new found faith and life who remain so for long, they tend to usually return to having those feelings even while wanting to please and serve God sometimes even more pronounced than before the conversion. I can attest to that as well, in trying to find purge and relieve as so I thought in younger years of my so called “nastiness” I too sought the altar, found it, thought I was “cured” and only to meet other men struggling in the very church I was attending and believe me we couldn’t take our hands off each other after realizing we were all the same thing. Is the matter therefore of abstinence more than changing ones attitude to same sex feelings or suppressing those feelings by allowing guilt and shame from religious teachings to block who one really is inside? Can one by gay and Christian? Maybe yes I say.

Have they become so consumed by the flesh that they simply sink into gay life once again as since most religious anti gay pundits seem to think homosexuality is all about lust and desire more so than ones makeup/identity, so in essence we are oversexed more than the average heterosexual and are so determined to convert others to our ways? What madness? as far as I am concerned one is either gay, straight, bisexual and the other orientations that exists and that can be properly explained outside of psychological disorders such as paedophilia. Sex and sexuality are issues the church as a whole need to look into.

We have been told by other psychologists that to suppress homosexuality can have disastrous effects as sexual orientation cannot be changed. Bearing in mind that Pastor Aaron Dumas (Tell Me Pastor) is also a psychologist and the guide for all practicing psychologists, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, DSM clearly does not list homosexuality as a disorder since 1973 so why is he not following the guide while pushing reparative therapy?

In response to the repeated Leviticusal battering here is an excerpt of a previous post on my sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch on the abominations:

When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus

18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Haitians, but not Cubans. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Cubans?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness
– Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord – Lev.1:9.. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states
he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the Police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there’degrees’of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/ polyester blend). He also tends to
curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Think on these things, homosexuality is not the only supposed abomination the Bible speaks to yet religious figures prefer selective readings.

Peace and tolerance.


“Tell Me Pastor” suggests Romans Chapter 1:24-32 & reparative therapy for abused gay teen

Here we go again this case this time looks more serious as the letter writer explained he was molested as a child, sadly this complaint is coming from many younger men who have sex with men and only some serious intervention by a qualified UNBIASED professional could determine whether the individual’s orientation was gay before despite the awful abuse he suffered prior to adolescence. Have a read of the letter and the response first then see my continued two cents on this and determine your own conclusion:

The letter stated:

I don’t want to be gay anymore

Dear Pastor,

I am 17-years-old and I am gay. I was molested when I was much younger and from that time I have been gay. I don’t want to be gay but the thoughts keep coming to me. I tried blocking them out but they keep coming back. I keep on liking boys.

I thought of telling my mother but she is not someone I can talk to. I thought of getting counselling but that would be so uncomfortable. One of my friends who is having the same problem that I am having went to the pastor of the church that I attend for counselling and, soon after, the whole church knew about it, then the community. He had to move out of the community and live elsewhere.

Some Jamaican people think that it is only guys who behave as if they are girls are the only ones who are gay. But you should see the ones who say that they are thugs, you will never know that they are gay. I know of singers, deejays and big men in this country who are gay. And I have even met four pastors who are gay.

Gay teenager

Pastor Dumas responds

Dear Gay teenager,

I thank you for writing and for expressing your desire of wanting to change your lifestyle, so to speak. I am sorry to hear that you were sexually abused when you were a child. Such an incident should have been reported and the guilty arrested, charged and sentenced to prison. What that beast did to you has affected you and has had a bad impact on your life.

Evidently, you did not report this matter. Whenever someone has been sexually abused, that person should undergo therapy. You had none. However, you know that what happened to you is still affecting you, and you are crying out for help.

Your friend needs help too. He has tried to talk to his pastor and the pastor has let him down by divulging what was said to him. That pastor ought to be ashamed of himself and should not be allowed to counsel anyone. I want you to know that trained counsellors know that what is discussed in a counselling session should not be divulged to anyone, unless permission is sought by the counsellor and given by the person who was counselled. There are exceptions to the rule but I won’t go into that here. I say shame on that pastor.

I would like to suggest that you should seek the help of a Christian psychologist. There are some reputable counsellors who would be happy to meet with you and do their best to help you. Perhaps you may consider trying Family Life Ministries. Let them know that you are unable to pay for the service. Their numbers are listed.

You say you know some pastors who are gay. Whenever you see them, tell them where they can go to get help and point out to them that the Bible says it is wrong for men to have sex with men and for women to have sex with women. Tell them to read Romans Chapter 1:24-32 and ask God to deliver them from that practice.

Young man, I will be praying for you.



Continued from above:

The obviously troubled teen of course determined that he is gay almost giving up on his incessant need for sexual contact with a man by thinking he can be made heterosexual in practice, I agree that he has not dealt properly with the abuse and its effect over time but for the pastor and psychologist to suggest reparative therapy on or after dealing with the abuse problems and low feeling of self worth here is counterproductive I feel in my layman’s look at this. He may also require some long sessions with a unbiased counselor to sort out the sexual orientation determination issue. What is important here also is the introduction of the pastor’s answer where he said “I thank you for writing and for expressing your desire of wanting to change your lifestyle” 

Lifestyle is the operative word and not orientation and as we are told by other members of the psychiatric profession who have an unbiased view of same gender love issues that to make someone suppress their sexual orientation can be dangerous, Christian Psychologists have been charged as guilty for encouraging this practice of forcing persons to accept a more leviticusal way of life while hiding their true selves which can have serious repercussions. One can suppress ones feelings but with trouble later, there is no scientific data to back up the basis for reparative therapy, homosexuality is not a disorder according to the DSM Diagnostic Statistical Manual, see this video from The documentary “For The Bible Tells Me So”

go to 7:28 for the precise presentation on another popular so called Christian psychiatrist named Dr. Dobson from the US who has declared that homosexuality can be cured. 


I think we have to be careful when we are dealing with young impressionable lives and the other mess about this whole thing is we have no resident frontline social interventions in our LGBT advocacy apart from referrals to God knows who to help these teens who are searching for themselves. Interestingly the letter goes off into a kind of manufactured consent mode grouping as homosexual non effeminate men and pastors as well which although maybe true in real life these repeated references in previous letters makes me doubt now the origin of this letter, I have always had my doubts about the validity of the letters from the Star sometimes as they look and sound alike in succession. The confidentiality matter however is a real issue and many males who are found to be same gender attracted while confiding in a pastor in a confessional of sorts find themselves read out and or embarrased from the rest of the congregants as their “story” is shared.

Let God be the final judge of us I say then but interestingly enough there are no direct biblical references to Jesus or God speaking on the issue of homosexuality but like what the master said to the prostitute I do not condemn you and to the stone throwers let he who is without sin cast the first stone. It would seem to me the master came for the outcasts as he was an outcast in the end via his crucifixion, his very birth was not one of a welcoming presence either of a young baby entering the world it occurred in a manger lest we forget.

Peace and tolerance


“Tell Me Pastor” on a 16yo “Caged Lesbian”



So another letter another day, see it call it expose it, wherever it is friends and this letter looks suspicious in another round of cracks of the whip in the anti LGBT arsenal, why would a 16 year old write a letter to a pastor outlining her lesbian or what seems more to be bisexual tendencies knowing fully well the answer that would come from that fraternity? and to think that naturally her mother would not approve of visitors (if they do exist) or even allow adults to come to their home and not scrutinize or interrogate at best these adults to interact in the home? Sounds far fetched to me.

No sensible parent in today’s caustic homophobic and lesbophobic Jamaica would allow that unless it is under duress as in some inner city communities where it is customary that so called “area leaders” or dons in the mainstream make advances to young girls and teenagers in the hebephelic sense for sexual favours with very little resistance from their parents or guardians. They can try to move out of the community but have to do so discreetly or it could mean trouble or death in some instance as these demands must be met. Or as is practiced in the informal transportation system on the coaster buses of school girls and older men involved in sexual activity sometimes for materialistic reasons such as a Blackberry or basic as lunch money for school, some teens are not angels but a letter to a pastor about lesbian life? this doesn’t add up.

Have a read of the piece and see if it adds up for you, I know we have been seeing previous stories and adding them but I think it is important we track and document them as the more we have is the better we can prove the successive publications and prove the trends over the years, after all we ought to have been properly tracking the previous hard copy editions as well before the advent on the online versions and those were in some instances more scaving than these later versions.

His response however this time seems a little bit more sensible than some previous ones in relation to same sex issues, he was careful it seems not to castigate her for being a lesbian or throwing the leviticusal paragraphs at her but one wonders had it been a man the subject if he would have been given the lesser wrath just the same as we know male homosexuality is frowned upon far more than same gender loving women are.

The story read:


Caged lesbian

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 and writing to tell you about a problem I am having with my mother. She doesn’t want me to speak to any man or woman. If a man or a woman comes to look for me, she says we are in a relationship. I am tired of hearing that.

I haven’t been to school since the new term because I am looking about my glasses. Because my mathematics teacher didn’t see me at school, he came to look for me to see if I was OK. When my teacher left, my mother said we were together. She doesn’t have any sense.

Pastor, I am a lesbian and I love being one. I love my life so I am living it. I also love my mother and my relatives, but I don’t want them to rule my life.

Please, tell me what you think about this.

A., St Andrew

 Pastor’s response

Dear A.,

Your mother has come to realise that you are having relations with persons of your own sex. You claim you are a lesbian, that is why when girls come to see you your mother is not happy to see them.

You should have more respect for your mother. You claim she doesn’t have any sense. I am sure you are wrong. Part of the problems you are having is that you are rude and out of order. I am sure that if you change your attitude towards your mother, you would both live harmoniously.

You are only 16 and have a lot to learn. You need guidance. I encourage you to go to church and take the minister of your church, or his wife, in confidence and ask them to help you.



My two cents continued:

Hinting however to reparative therapy at the end of the response is not surprising as he is also a Psychologist but seems not to adhere to the DSM Diagnostic Statistical Manual which is the Bible for all properly trained and practicing persons in that field which clearly advocates that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. He has recommended this to other lesbians or so called subjects who have written to him. Maybe a pastor should not take on psychology as well for a profession as clearly there are serious conflicts of interests here.

Peace and tolerance


“Tell Me Pastor” mixed messages on lesbianism ….. suspicious letter?

So the season for the same gender loving embellished stories has recommenced in the Star from pastor/psychologist Reverend Aaron Dumas which for those of you who read this and my other blogs will know there are trends for these kind of publications, in other words an on and an off season, well here is the on season as only yesterday we saw the “downlow conplaint” letter to which he had a mummed response in a sense, see more on that one HERE, today’s entry is suspicious and I am on record as saying I think some of these letters are fakes or so edited that the original gist of them is lost in order to create a buzz on the story.

Have a read and then below it I’ll share my two cents:

Lesbian fantasy


Dear Pastor,

I love your column so much. It is just real. I am in love with this guy. I started getting close to him at a house party. When I left and got home, he was all on my mind. The next week, he emailed me asking for my number. I gave it to him. I have known him since I was nine years old, but I wasn’t as close to him in that way. He rang my phone the same time and we spoke for hours about everything.

About two days later, I went to his house, intending to do his hair, and I ended up having sexual intercourse with him. I didn’t do oral sex. I feel very careless and dirty because my virginity went just like that.

Second, I fantasise about girls. What should I do? I had sex with a girl. I went to a massage parlour and everything was going well until she started touching me at certain places. She told me it was normal so I should relax. She performed oral sex on me. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t find it in me to stop it.

Please give me your views.

T., Clarendon

Pastor’s response

Dear T.,

You mean well, but you are naïve. You met a young man and you thought that you fell in love with him. In fact, he gave you the impression that he loves you too. He invited you to his house under the pretence that he wanted you to comb his hair and that gave him the opportunity to have sex with you. That’s how you lost your virginity. That shows naivety on your path. You were too trusting. You did not understand that men are cunning.

When you went to the massage parlour, you didn’t mean to become sexually involved with another girl, but perhaps you didn’t understand that many of these so-called massage parlours allow their masseuses to engage their clients in sexual acts. So when this woman started to touch you inappropriately, she knew exactly what she was doing. It was her way of introducing you to lesbianism.

It is not, therefore, surprising that you now find yourself fantasising about having sex with women. You know that it is wrong to have sex with women. Therefore, I suggest that you make an appointment to see a psychologist for professional help.



The timeline for when her “virginity” was taken is unclear and how soon after did she supposedly visit the massage parlour? Pastor in his response said the masseuse was introducing lesbianism yet in the letter she clearly outlined she was attracted to women, what’s going on here? The told me it was normal bit sounds like an adage to the text to set up the answer to say lesbianism or by extension homosexuality is wrong as is expected coupled with his suggesting she seek counselling and or reparative therapy. We have seen letters like this before and the answers are always the same, replete with castigations, references to abominations and seeking reparative therapy as a solution. Another aspect to this letter/answer is the biphobia and bi-invisibility as the letter writer did express opposite sex attractions and activities, what if she were attracted to both sexes but due to her address, Clarendon (out of town, deep rural area)  she may not be exposed to information and other persons like herself for better understanding (JFLAG will do well in having island outreach for real not just in name).

For a Psychologist Rev Dumas is certainly not following the DSM IV and soon to be released DSM V guidelines in handling sex and sexual orientation issues on the face of it, one wonders where he got his training or qualifications?

Let us continue to track these pieces as proof of the sublte forms of homophobia and then to use an elitist position in the answer to the writer by “louding up” her naivety as it were is clear indication of how the man works.

Peace and tolerance


“Tell Me Pastor” suggests Reparative Therapy to bisexual woman

So again as we continue to watch and document the respective media outlets for infractions towards LGBTQI people here we have another case of reparative therapy being suggested to a bisexual letter writer to the Jamaica Star column. One wonders of some of these letters are real but while correctly challenging her honesty to her male counterpart he goes on to mention the abomination bit at the end and instructs her to find a psychologist.

Read the letter and the Pastor’s answer and check the “Tell Me Pastor” tab for previous entries here from GLBTQ Jamaica on blogger.

This should not surprise us though as the Jamaica Star on a whole along with other tabloid prints have been consistent in stimulating the homophobia towards the populace with timely embellished stories and letters.

Go Here for previous “Tell Me Pastor” homophobic/bi-phobic or lesbophobic entries from Gay Jamaica Watch as originally published in The Jamaica Star.

Here is the meaning and some background behind Reparative or Conversion Therapy

Please be vigilant out there people and don’t be brain washed by these attempts.

The letter and response reads as follows:

I love her, not him

Dear Pastor,

I’m in a serious dilemma and I don’t know how to deal with it. I have been in a relationship with a guy for about a year now. He treats me very well. He takes care of my needs. He also wants me to live with him. He loves me very much, but I am not in love with him. Whenever he asks if I love him, I try to shy away from the question or just change the subject.

My serious problem is I am having an affair with a girl for almost five years now. She loves me and would do just about anything for me. She is away now. So I am able to go out with my boyfriend and have fun. The next thing is that she is coming back next month, and it’s making my boyfriend go crazy. I am deeply in love with my girlfriend. I am so confused.Can you give me your fatherly advice?

Bisexual Girl

Pastor answers:

Dear Bisexual Girl,

Your boyfriend knows that you are bisexual. The only thing you have not admitted to him is that you do not love him. Your love is for your lesbian partner who is abroad but will soon return. Evidently, you have not told your girlfriend that you also have a male partner.

You are with this man because he takes care of your financial needs, but you are not totally committed to him. Your commitment is to your female lover. Therefore, you should tell this man you do not love him. You are afraid to do so because you believe he would stop giving you the financial support you need.

I am not here to condemn you but I am afraid I cannot encourage you to continue to practise this kind of lifestyle. The Bible condemns the practise of persons of the same sex to make love. In fact, the Bible calls such practice an abomination. I would urge you to seek professional help by calling a psychologist and meeting for counselling sessions.


Tell Me Pastor tells Lesbian to find a “Christian” counselor

Another letter that on the face of it looks fabricated or edited to scratch appeared in today’s edition of the Star Newspaper, the letter writer supposedly is troubled by her alleged early lesbian interest.

Hinting to Reparative therapy of sorts even as the woman according to the letter’s wording suggests she feels right about being a lesbian yet conflicted at the same time, giving the appearance that she is seeking help, the nine year old exposure bit doesn’t seem truthful either as that in my estimation suggests paedohilia as homosexual activity in this country has been mistakenly linked to same sex paedophilia thus fueling the active homophobia we have seen over the years.

A nice trick in putting this letter together Star folks while having such a major contradiction in one sentence, we can see clearly the tricks these days and pull it apart easily as it is so predictable.

This is not the first time though pastor has suggested this kind of reparative therapy emphasizing a Christian counselor for the would be seeker of the intervention in a bid to “cure” them of their alleged deviant behaviour or thoughts without properly presenting the “letters” to the public and the proper sphere of the orientations or sexual variants of the supposed letter writers, yet the gentleman is supposed to be a trained psychologist.

Caan fool wi.

Have a read below of the letter and the pastor’s response:

I think I am a full lesbian ………………..

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and have been living with a problem ever since I was nine years old. When I was a little girl I was introduced to a lesbian friend who eventually exposed me to the whole idea of being a lesbian.

Over the years I kept dating guys to get over my feelings for females, but dating men just does not seem to help.

Now I think I am a full lesbian. I have been dating girls and I seem to like the idea of being with women. Whenever I am around them I feel more relaxed and comfortable, even when having sex.

Please, pastor, I do not know what to do. I know it is wrong but I cannot help myself. It feels so right. Please give me your fatherly advice.

C.C., Manchester, Jamaica

Pastor’s response:

Dear C.C.,

The first paragraph of your letter is conformation of what most psychologists and psychiatrists have always maintained and that is in the main, homosexuality is something learned. You got involved with someone who was a lesbian. That person sexually molested you. Perhaps you were not even aware what this person was doing to you. But as a child, you probably felt that it was normal and you got hooked.

This woman messed up your mind. But as you grew up you found out that what you did then and what you are doing now is unnatural. That is what the Bible says. And as I talk about the Bible, I am aware that some people do not want to hear what the Bible says. They believe that if it feels good, nothing is wrong.

But the Bible says that it is unnatural for people of the same sex to make love.

I am glad that you feel for help. I want you to know that other women have been in similar positions and they received help and have turned away from this practice. Many have experienced spiritual transformation and as a result abandoned the practice and are truly walking with the Lord.

Therefore, I must encourage you to make an appointment to see a Christian family counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.

I am sure that if you go to sessions with an open mind, you will receive help. In the meantime, pray and ask God to help you and do not yield to the temptation of having sex with other women.


See Also:
“Tell Me Pastor” shows clear ignorance & stereotyping of lesbians

Crying ga(y)me

Lesbian in love with a married woman

Tell Me Pastor “Foot in mouth again”

Aren’t christians supposed to be tolerant in their nature and walk with god??

Jamaicans hypocritical about gays? ….where does this pastor lives?

Pray and pray but still gay

Man and Man problems

Let The Gay Pay?

These entries listed above are just a sample of the steady stream of letters real or otherwise seem to have a steady streak in them, the letters look simple the point is always one of intolerance and biblical literalism.

Read them when you can and decide for yourselves please.

Peace and tolerance


Mom, counsel your son, don’t condemn says Tell Me Pastor but if he was gay?

Here is another letter to the Tell Me Pastor in the Star thats urges a mother not to condemn her son simply because according to her she found condoms new and used in his bag at just 15 years old. I am sure that if the story had a gay twist to it he would have advised her to seek counseling to get it out of him judging from his previous responses to such matters one can recall the case where he recommended restorative psychology treatment for a lesbian who had allegedly written to him asking for advice.

This kind of double standards or religious hypocrisy is just so familiar some sins especially if they are heterosexual based are allowed or easily forgiven while anything remotely gay is condemned.

He did spoke to safer sex practices and probably recognised early sexual initiation and the need for parents’ input.

Have a read of the letter

Dear Pastor,

This is the second time I am writing to you. The first time I wrote you, you gave me good advice.

I have a son who is 15 years old and attending high school. He is very good at sports, so all the girls flock him. He does well in his lessons and is obedient. But I got the shock of my life when I found in his school bag a pack of condoms and one was used.

I confronted him about it and he said it belonged to a friend who gave him the condoms to keep. Pastor, I don’t believe him. This boy goes to church every Sunday. I didn’t expect him to start having sex so early. His younger brother is 13 and he told me he knows his girlfriend. I don’t want these careless girls to spoil up my son. My friends told me I should have left the condoms in his bag. But pastor, he is too young to be having sex.

S., St Andrew

Pastor’s response

Dear S.,

Why were you so shocked when you saw the condoms in your son’s bag? And did you believe that he would have admitted that they were his? Even if he wanted to admit they were his, your reaction caused him to lie.

Of course the condoms are his. Yes, mother, your son is sexually active and he is wise enough to protect himself from STD and HIV/AIDS and from impregnating women. And, mother, taking the condoms away, doesn’t mean that he would stop having sex. No, mother, he would purchase another pack and put them where you would not find them, or he may give them to his girlfriend to keep.

You describe the girls as careless. How unfortunate. Not all girls who are sexually active are careless. Many teenagers have sex, not because they are bad but because they hear from their peers that it is sweet. Many come under peer pressure, so they yield.

Counsel your son. Ask your minister to counsel him too, but don’t condemn him or his friends.


Tell Me Pastor on oral sex: “Therefore, as a counsellor, I do not advocate oral sex, but neither do I condemn those who practice it.”

The Star’s “Tell Me Pastor” says as a psychologist he doesn’t condone or condemn oral sex basically so long as it is practiced in a heterosexual setting and the couple of course is married and leading towards procreation or having children. So much for gay and lesbian people who like the act. I think pastor seems to forget the realities of Jamaica “Land We Love” that sex is not only done by married folks and oral sex though more tolerated now is still taboo for some especially an ever shrinking but still defiant section of dancehall.

Isn’t it funny that though homosexuality has been removed from the DSM IV document so long ago in the American Psychiatric Association (APA)principles that in effect guides or is used as a standard bible by psychiatrists and psychologists worldwide in their pratice he finds homosexuality wrong and condemns it readily. Maybe that is done to remain popular on radio as he hosts a talkshow besides his paper column.

Of interest just take a look at the quality pf the letters written to him in the very edition the letter excerpted below appeared. I have always contended that they are written for the column as there are other letters in the edition speaking to the matter of oral sex.

Hypocrisy at best here folks but you can decide for yourselves.


Also see: Tell Me Pastor’s Blog http://tellmepastor.blogspot.com/

Also see: Tell Me Pastor shows clear ignorance and lesbophobia

See the letter below, the indented font is the letter by the writer and the bold font is the pastor’s response. Judge for yourselves.

The Oral Word:

Dear Pastor,

Can you please tell me where in the Bible oral sex is wrong and forbidden? I enjoy having oral sex and my wife enjoys it more than penetration. When we have oral sex her water comes several times. But when we have sex the regular way, she hardly comes and she says she is not satisfied.

Some say the mouth was not made to be used that way, so it is wrong to have oral sex. But we don’t see anything wrong with it.

F., Portland

Dear F.,

The Bible does not say anything about oral sex. Christian couples are under obligation to please each other and should do anything as expressions of love.

The Bible teaches that sex within the marriage bond is not only for procreation but also for pleasure. Therefore one should not judge or condemn what a couple does in their bedroom.

A man should sexually satisfy his wife, and his wife should do the same. Therefore, as a counsellor, I do not advocate oral sex, but neither do I condemn those who practice it.

Please read first Corinthians 7: 3-5.


Aren’t christians supposed to be tolerant in their nature and walk with god?? a bisexual case

My bisexual friend

Read this tell me pastor letter and his response and decide for yourself if this man should be leading a church or even a herd of goats for that matter?:
pub Dec 30, 2008 – The Star

Dear Pastor,

I am having some problems. I have been a Christian from a tender age and now that I am in my early 20s, I am still walking with the Lord. Some things have happened to me that I know in my heart are wrong.
A close friend who I grew up with and trust has changed. She has become bisexual. I am furious at her choice. I have encouraged her to stop because I know it is immoral in the sight of God. She told me that she has feelings for me. I was not shocked by her comments as I was told the same thing by a teacher when I was younger.

I prayed and fasted hoping that she would change her ways. She claims nothing is wrong. I had a conversation with my pastor about the situation and he advised me not to take her as a friend. He said it doesn’t matter how many times I pray for her, if she is not ready to change, there is nothing I can do. I didn’t want to give up on her as I believed she can change, having known her for so long.
I am not the type

I told her on several occasions that I would not be part of her lifestyle. She has often told me she would like to see my breasts and kiss me. I thought she would get the message that I am not the type of person she is.
One day, however, while hanging out at her place, we started to play around. I began to protest when I noticed that she was trying to hold me down. She held me to the point where I could not move. She began to squeeze my breasts really hard then fondle me. I began to do the same to her. We did not kiss or go any further.

Deep down I feel bad inside and this has begun to affect the way I think and function. I now stare into space and have become edgy. I dislike having female friends around me and don’t like them touching me. My head hurts a lot and I think of committing suicide. I don’t know what to do.

My fault
If I had listened to my heart, I would never go through what I am going through now. I blame myself. I don’t have any feelings whatsoever for her or any female. I have decided not to be her friend anymore. It makes no sense at all to have persons around who can’t respect me or my beliefs.
This is driving me crazy. Please give me your fatherly advice. I pray and fast that God will not close his door in my face and shut me out of His life. I need a closer and better relationship with my Creator.
J.B., Westmoreland, Jamaica

Pastor’s Response

Dear J.B.,
The Bible says that one should shun the very appearance of evil. The Bible also says that one should walk circumspectly, not as fools, redeeming the time because the days are evil. When this girl told you that she is bisexual, you should have been on your guard and not be close to her anymore. Her behaviour and lifestyle displease the Lord. She is evil and you have to be careful not to associate yourself with her, because if you do, people would believe that you are just like her.

No one can help her

A Christian has to always bear in mind that his/her testimony is important. And so, if the world accuses him/her of doing something wrong and he/she is not guilty, he/she can still walk with his/her head high.
Your pastor was right. Unless this girl has a desire to change her lifestyle, no one can help her. That does not mean that you should not pray for her. But you should not put yourself in a situation where she can encourage you to do what is displeasing to the Lord.

I believe you are genuinely sorry for what you allowed to happen. You should not have gone to her home. Now you know you should not go back there. God knows your heart and He will forgive you for your indiscretion. Continue to pray until you feel totally delivered.

Read these lettes and form your own opinion……

Two letters in one day suggesting some sort of reparative therapy from Psychologist, talks show host and Pastor Rev Aaron Dumas who operates the Tell Me Pastor clomun in the Star News, have a read of the two letters and see it they make sense of his responses are appropriate.


Pray and pray but still gay

Dear Pastor,
I am a 41-year-old man living in the USA. My parents are Jam-aican. I am gay. I pray to God about taking the feelings of loving a man away from me but it is not working.
I am going to hell

I went to church and I told the pastor there what I was going through. Instead of him trying to help me by praying with me or giving me some advice, he told me that I am going to hell. As far as I can see, the first step is admitting the problem that one has and try to get help, but I got turned away. As far as I know, all sins are spelt S-I-N and the Lord says that he who is without sin should cast the first stone. I don’t know, why me?

Killing myself

Why do I have to be going through this? To tell you the truth, I feel like killing myself, but I know that one cannot get forgiveness for killing one’s self. Sometimes I feel like I am the worst person in the world.

I told my mom and she told me that God still loves me and all I have to do is pray and trust God, but, pastor, I do pray and pray and pray. It has been 20 years, now and I am still gay and I still have feelings for men. I know that I am grown, but I do not know where to turn for help anymore.

This is slowly killing me. I have known that I like guys from I was in high school at the age of 15. I had to keep it to myself for a long time. I know that you don’t have an idea how hard it is to do something like that.

Why me, pastor? Why is it that I have to be gay? What can I do to stop these feelings. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I look at them and lust at them. Please give me some advice.

R.W., New York, USA

Pastor answers

Dear R.W.,

I suggest that you take a different approach. Try to find a Christian psychologist and ask him to help you work out this problem. You have struggled with this problem for years but I still believe that God can deliver you.

Man-and-man problems
Dear Pastor,
I’m with a man who is selfish and don’t want me to do what I want to. I am in love with him although he is a man and I am a man. He has problems with me having my girlfriend and he doesn’t want me to be with anyone except him. I’m confused

I want to reach out to him, but I am afraid because he is too arrogant and that’s the reason why I am afraid to share things with him. He is crazy and I can’t do anything about it. Pastor, I am wild and I want to be with him and my girlfriend.

Please, tell me what to do. We have been through a lot, but I think that things can turn around and work for us. Tell me what to do. Pastor, tell me what to do.

P.A., St James, Jamaica

Pastor answers

Dear P.A,

The Bible says that a man should not have sexual relations with another man. The Bible condemns that type of lifestyle. If you have never seen that in the Bible, you may read Romans chapter one.

You seem to be proud of having a man as your lover but, I repeat, the Bible teaches that it is wrong. I believe the Bible.



Admin – of note are the responses