Lady Switch Hitters & the Boyfriends who complain … (cross-post from blogger)

Originally posted on GLTBQ Jamaica blogger edition

This post was developed on the strength of two recent complaints of threats of two separate butch females who were threatened in some way by the boyfriends of the partners they were seeing at the time.

Switch hitters here is not used in the sporting sense that of baseball or cricket where ambidextrous participants can manipulate the ball used or bat with both hands but it refers to persons who are for the most part innately bisexual or those experiment at best sexually speaking with both sexes. The problem of men in Jamaica who react negatively when who knowingly or unknowingly have their female partners who also have lesbian relationships on the side seems to be a growing. It is hard to say whether these switch hitters are innately lesbian or bisexual and for now there are no known studies locally to help us analyse the practices involved but the trend exists.

There seems to be another trend within this new major trend in that the men do not seem to mind as long as the “lady partner” to their female love interest is not “butch” or masculine looking or acting, the proverbial butch dynamic. There have been cases where the men who are aware of their lady loves who have lady lovers or who are knowingly bisexual allow these unions to occur alongside their own and some even entertain sexual liaisons much sometimes to the upset and disgust of those of whom the requests are made, stories of requests made by men who want to be voyeurs watching the ladies have sex or participate with sex toys are not uncommon. The practice of men who attend exotic entertainment clubs who request this group sex lesbian activity is also common in some parts of Jamaica as I recall my days working in the HIV programs with exotic dancers and commercial sex workers who relate their experiences at times.

The aforementioned ladies who have complained have now decided not to date bisexual women and insist on asking their love interest about their preference. This mistrust of bisexual women and bisexuality in general adds to the biphobia that exists out there either by default through ignorance of the issues they face or persons stigmatizing them as unsatisfied and frustrated sex addicts or nymphomaniacs. One of the cases in question the partner who she was dating at the time did not disclose she had a boyfriend and it so happened that he burrowed his love interest’s cell phone to make a call when he pounced upon stored messages as it turned out from a female name stored in the phonebook he proceeded to call the number and had a heated exchange which as described to me by the butch lesbian were not kind. He demeaned the perceived sexual activities between women and said he will move to another town to avoid her seeing his woman.

The other case was more harsh but threats were also made by the male partner of the woman involved, she however did inform her “butch partner” that she had a boyfriend and he was apparently aware that she was a practicing bisexual.

So why the insecurity from the brothers?

Maybe there is a feeling the woman would be more good at satisfying their women thus causing them to drift or leaning more to lesbian sex, given how highly sexualized we are as a nation with sex used to consummate many unions gay or straight more so than personality and other human traits any “other partners” are viewed with great skepticism. Bisexuality is not a matter that is discussed with any regularity either from the advocates or nationally as homophobia and by extension the country abhorrent attitude to male homosexuality takes centre stage more than anything else related to LGBTQI issues.

How can we begin to deal with these problems?

If you have any suggestions share them but more and more cases are coming forward and as many folks literally get into homosexual and lesbian activities while having heterosexual common law or married unions due to the long held perceptions that there is money and improved lifestyles to be had from being involved in gay sex will we see more of these intersections causing more social problems in the future?

Are identity issues a part of the problem as well as many do not really know who they are and just struggle with what society says versus their own urges and feelings?

There was a case some time ago where an alleged lesbian couple were murdered and it was surmised that the boyfriend of one of the girls was the culprit he also was said to be familiar with the lesbian partner of his girlfriend. One of the ladies was described in the article as “progressed from being a bisexual to an outright lesbian” as if they can detect orientation or maybe they were trying to suggest she was practicing lesbian sex only but texts like that can be very misleading.

Here is the article from the Star News: “They Were Lesbians” or HERE

Also see: Jamaica : Lesbian Shotta Killed Man in quarrel over women

Let us continue to watch this though and see if we can continue the discourse on this issue.

Peace and tolerance

H